The Great Resignation
I learned of a new term from a co-worker the other day. It seems since the spring 2021 to the present, there is an ongoing trend in America of employees voluntarily leaving their jobs. It’s been coined the great resignation, or the great quit. Since I’m very happy with my employer and workplace, I disregarded the conversation and I went on with my day.
That evening over dinner, my adult child who’d been living with me and my husband for the past several years informed us she’d given her two-week’s notice at work and planned to move to Las Vegas. Yikes, maybe I’d better give this resignation thing a bit more thought.
As I researched to topic, I quickly grew weary with the blame placed on millennials work ethic (or the lack of) and the over generous unemployment benefits during the shutdown of 2020. I’m not sure people are aware of this, but in Minnesota, applicants who quit employment are NOT eligible for unemployment unless the quit falls into one of the following categories…
- The employment was unsuitable and you quit to enter full-time reemployment assistant training.
- Or, you were notified that you will be laid-off within the next 30-days and you quit before the lay-off date.
I suspect this varies from state to state regarding conditions, but these two conditions don’t seem much of a stimulus to quit a job in order to collect unemployment, in my opinion. Further, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for any person to demand a wage that they can survive on without having to work two or three jobs or relying on tips as in the food service industry.
The familiar vs. change
According to the Oxford dictionary, there are two primary definitions for the word resignation. One, an act of retiring or giving up a position. This would be the case of my daughter voluntarily leaving her work position or the hundreds of thousands of baby boomers leaving the workforce to retire. The second definition; the acceptance of something undesirable, but inevitable which better describes me.
I had become quite comfortable with our eldest daughter living in our home. She paid rent, contributed to the household and was an easy personality to get along with. In short, I loved having her around. So why would she just up and leave?
Despite having a college education (which she has paid her student debt in its entirety), strong work ethic and holding a skilled position, in all the years she worked for her company, she was never given a wage that was self-sustaining enough for her to live on her own.
Further, it wasn’t what she wanted to do with her life. A common boomer response would be, “suck it up, buttercup. That’s what being an adult is all about.” Not ours.
My husband and I had left our corporate positions long ago for a more satisfying work environment. Through our own choice, we had subsequently given our children the latitude to believe that pursuing a dream was possible and the drive to climb their own ladder.
One positive outcome from the pandemic is that it forced companies to discard the, ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’, mentality. Employee dissatisfaction aka burnout has been an epidemic for decades. So come on corporate America, wake-up and smell the coffee, you have an opportunity. Please, take it! Even senior employees are taking early disability and retirement due to workplace despondency.
Sanctuary or cell?
Another catalyst for our daughter’s decision may have stem from my husband and I choosing to sell the family home this summer. The consequence of leaving our corporate positions was a significant decrease in our annual income. Money is important, but it’s not everything. We figured, if we tighten our belts and lived within our means, with our home nearly paid off that minor adjustment would have a substantial payoff. Except, the universe doesn’t work that way, mucking up the best laid plans.
While closing my father-in-law’s estate, two years ago, I’d come to realize our home had gradually transformed into an expensive storage unit. It wasn’t just my husband’s family heirlooms occupying our living space, our kids had several personal items in our home as well. Not laying blame here, we could have said no. But since we had a four-bedroom house and all that room, why not?
In addition to our home feeling like a storage space with beds, we’d been spending more time traveling to visit our aging parents or other children’s homes to see grandchildren and help the with various home sweat equity projects. The mortgage was feeling a hefty price for the minimal time we were spending there. Between work and travel, we were home so seldom, there wasn’t time to mow the lawn, rake leaves, or shovel snow. Let alone engage in hobbies like gardening or my husband spending time in his workshop. Less a sanctuary and more a cell, I’d resigned myself I needed to declutter and downsize.
Letting it go
Spearheaded by the realtor’s association (no bias there) the media hype is that the seller has all the power to command top dollar right now due to a housing shortage. Cough, bu11Sh#+, cough. It doesn’t absolve the seller from playing the real estate game. No matter how diligent you were with updates and maintenance on your home, there is always something the buyer had seen while binging on a real estate “reality” show they will expect you to drop money for, before purchasing. That’s not the worst of it.
If you are considering downsizing—during the moving sale, be prepared for another reality. No one wants all those heirlooms collecting dust in your basement, or things you’ve collected over the years, not even your minimalist children at least not for a reasonable price anyway. Facebook marketplace, eBay, Craigslist and other web-based sites are flooded with such item. Donation sites can’t even handle the volume. Further, despite statistically two-third of the American population own a truck, it is never the person who might be interested in your dinette set you’re practically giving away, unless YOU haul it to them.
Oh, look out you rock-n-rollers
The first time I heard the late David Bowie’s song, Changes, I’d immediately identified with the children being spit on while trying to change their worlds. I was immune to consultation, young, impertinent, invincible.
Fast forward forty years and I’m getting a glimpse of what this rock-n-roller needed to be looking out for. I hate thinking of myself as old, but there are certain undeniable truths I can neither alter nor change. Parents age and will eventually pass on leaving their children to deal with the fate of their worldly treasures.
Raising independent children will manifest in their own ideas of how they want their lives to be, including living several states away. Even the solace of a beloved pet is no longer a feasible while living in an apartment. I resign myself to these truths daily.
Tracing my finger along my life timeline, it’s difficult to know exactly what brought me to where I am in this moment. Places, experiences, people have all had an influence, but I grow weary of ruminating or wasting time regretting things I cannot change. I want to live in the here and now. So, I will stop managing decisions my parents made and let go of the burdens and possessions they held so dear. The same is true for my children. I need to allow them to experience the consequences of their own choices, not influence them. I must let go of certain ideals that no longer support where I am in my present life or build toward future goals. In short, it’s time to reinvent myself.
